Category: Uncategorized

Acceptance

Yvette

Hi Lovelies,

Thank you so much for your patience. It has been a looooooong time between blogs.

Sure. There’s been stuff to write about. I’ve had a heap of things to work through (mercury in retrograde has a lot to answer for!) however, I also know how important it is to look inward when your outer world is chaotic. So, in short, that’s what I’ve been doing. Because that’s ALWAYS where the answers will be found.

A L W A Y S.

Besides, when we are emotionally affected by something, we often blurt things out in a way that we don’t mean. So at times like that, its best to say nothing at all.

I have witnessed short term AND long term unhealthy patterns repeating in my life. And then I’ve watched them come around again. And again. Like groundhog day with no good coming from it. Only frustration, anger, pain and sadness. So what does one do when these things keep re-appearing in your life? Well, you and I both know the ONLY thing you can do is break the pattern yourself.

And that means Change with a capital C.

If you’ve done all you can to work towards a resolution and another party/parties refuse to take the action required, it’s time to stop banging your head against the brick wall. Relationships are a two-way street. No matter how much you want a solution, these things take EQUAL energy and for both parties to truly and authentically want the same outcome. Know when it’s time to take your energy back and direct it to where it can do good for yourself and as a ripple effect, for others.

I won’t bore you with details about it all but I will share what I’ve (FINALLY) learned about the reappearance of drama and negativity in my life.

If you accept unacceptable behaviour, it’s going to keep reappearing.

You can’t just ‘love harder’ and hope a situation will change. It won’t.

If you continue responding in the same way to a situation, its your fault it keeps repeating and you’re just going to keep getting the same shit on a different day. That’s on you.

You can walk away from what isn’t working in your life and the world will keep turning. In fact, you’ll likely find your world starts turning with more ease and flow.

You can love people and at the same time, decide there isn’t room for them or their behaviour in your life. In fact, sometimes the best way to love them is to walk away. Perhaps it will make things easier for them too.

People don’t necessarily have to be toxic people for you to walk away from them. They may only be toxic for YOU for whatever reason. Sometimes energies just clash and that just is.

If stuff keeps getting brushed under the carpet, you’ll find yourself standing on a huge pile of poop. Take your cue to step off.

People, no matter who they are or how long you’ve known them, won’t always see, hear or understand you and that has to be OK. Whatever a person carries is their stuff and sometimes they’re too busy carrying such a huge load that they can’t even see over their pile at you. That has to be OK as well. The right people will ALWAYS see you.

Be real. Are YOU seeing you? Do you allow yourself enough stillness and self reflection? What can YOU do to affect change when it’s desperately needed?

Stop worrying about the ‘supposed to’s and the societal ‘should’s and focus on what (and who) is right for YOU. The more you talk to people, the more you realise there is no such thing as ‘normal’ anyway. We all have things we carry and relationships we find challenging. Embrace them. ESPECIALLY the tricky ones because they are what teach us the most.

ACCEPT you won’t always get the result you want or the answer you need or the explanation you deserve. Life isn’t fair and it doesn’t always give us what we want. But it does give us what we need. And thats more than enough.

Love & Light Always,

Yvette xxx

Categories: Uncategorized1 Comment

Don’t ‘Give Up’

Yvette #

Hi Lovelies,

It’s been ages since I last wrote.  About 9 months in fact but hey, who’s counting?

To be honest I have been revelling in the gift I gave myself last year.  A gift I have now lived for 420 days to be exact.  If you’ve read my last few blogs you’ll know what that gift is.  If you haven’t, then what I’m talking about is the gift of living a sober life.

For me, sober means not one drink.  Not one sip of champagne at celebrations.  Not one taste of a cocktail.  Not one cheeky glass to ‘unwind’ on holiday.  Nothing.  I chose to say goodbye to alcohol completely because I didn’t feel it worked for me anymore.

Before I go on, what I’d like to make very clear is that I didn’t ‘give it up’ so to speak because upon reflection, I didn’t give up anything.  I don’t believe trying to ‘give up’ something works nearly as well as choosing to ‘gain’ a new life by letting go of whatever it is you feel isn’t working for you.

Like smoking.  Or  a bad relationship.  Or a job you despise.  Or a toxic ‘friend’.  Or a food group that leaves you feeling unwell.

Or countless other things.

‘Giving up’ insinuates a lack of something.  Sure, that’s ok if you can wrap your head around lacking the ill feeling attached to what that thing is but human nature doesn’t really have our brains working like that.  The term ‘Giving up’ brings about a feeling of loss for most.  A loss of something we have become attached to.

However thinking about what you will gain from the situation is everything.  It makes all the difference.

For example, by choosing to stay sober, I gained a great deal.

I gained a life led with my senses being so much more intense because they are never numbed by the dulling effects of a drink or few.

I gained a new found awareness of my emotions.  Whether they be sadness, anger, happiness, frustration or joy.  All of which I have a new appreciation for because really allowing myself to feel them 100% means I am living and I’m grateful beyond measure for that.  They all pass no matter what and squashing them with a substance is only ever temporary anyway.  They’re only going to resurface unless you feel and process them.

I gained an appreciation for what it is like to be authentically me and walk a path less travelled instead of allowing myself to get caught up in what everyone else is doing.  Knowing what is not right for you and actioning that is a gift in and of itself.  We all have our own inner voice telling us what is right and wrong for us and if you’re quiet enough to honour it, you really do find things falling in to place around you.

Yes.  It really is all about you.

I gained the ability to nourish myself more intuitively and get real about when I was using food or drink to stuff down feelings like boredom, insecurity or fear.  There’s a billion dollar diet and fitness industry out there feeding off that very thing when realistically, we all have the ability to guide ourselves towards true nourishment and health if we just pause and listen rather than blindly doing by way of habit.

Now don’t get me wrong here – I still eat cake when I want to.  Because, well CAKE!  But what I don’t do anymore is allow it to make me feel bad for even one second because sometimes healthy means eating the cake now, right?

I gained freedom from weighing myself.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Sometimes several times a day; which is something I did since I was about 12 years old; and from counting calories in and calories out because I know my intuition is strong and will tell me what is right for me.  Who gives a shit about those numbers anyway?

This was huge people.  HUGE.

I gained freedom from telling myself I ‘should‘ be doing this or I ‘shouldn’t‘ be doing that and am finally making choices based on my truth.  The lack of ‘noise’ in my head is such a welcome change.  I should add, this was so unexpected.

I gained a sense of self love that I had never given myself permission to feel because for some reason, so many of us grew up being taught self love is a bad thing, when in fact, it’s the most important thing of all.  Your relationship with your self impacts every little bit of how you relate to others and to life itself.

#lovewins

I gained an appreciation for how people may choose to connect or disconnect from me and a greater understanding of how that very choice is all about THEM and not me at all.  It has allowed me to become more of a witness in life.

I gained acceptance of SO much.  Because in the end, we should expect nothing and accept everything.  All we have control over is how we respond to life.

I could go on but you get my drift.

So whatever it is for you, don’t ‘give it up’.  Let it go.  And gain away Lovelies.  Because #winning

Until next time…

Love & Light Always,

Yvette xxx

 

Categories: Health, Lessons, Me, Uncategorized, Words that inspire2 Comments

I see you

Yvette # # #

Happy New Year Lovelies!  I sincerely hope that it will be a great one for you.

There is something really special about the beginning of a new year.  It brings a whole lot of freshness to your soul.   Three hundred and sixty five new days to make of your life whatever you wish.  I absolutely love the feeling it brings and can’t wait to see what unfolds in 2016.  I’m super excited!

That however is where I stop talking about the new year.  There are enough blog posts out there about it and I never want to become clichéd or do what everybody else is doing.  I like to be different, if not a little surprising.

So what am I going to talk about then?

Visibility and transparency on social media.

Why?  Because it has become such a huge part of many of our lives.  Whether you realise it or not, people can tell a lot about you by what you post.  Even when you are trying to say one thing, another message altogether may clearly come across.   Your audience is likely to see what is really going on, rather than what you are trying to project.  It is subliminal as well as literal.

There are those that tell fibs and are then silly enough to post the truth, forgetting that their ‘friends’ can see.  I have certainly caught out people that have blatantly lied to me and found out things that have been withheld as well.  I’m sure we all have.  I’ve seen people tell fibs to others as well.  They obviously forget their words are seen by a much larger audience than intended.

lies-cost-everything

But that’s not all that I’m talking about.  I’m also talking about the people that so desperately want us to believe  their lives are (picture) perfect.  You know the ones. They post photograph after photograph of carefully posed for and captioned images of what they want you to believe is a flawless life or relationship, when really, they are starving for attention and need their ego to be fed by the hoards because in reality, their life is far from complete and they don’t feel as great about themselves as they’d like you to believe.

It is clear that a lot of people use Facebook as a facade.  There’s nothing wrong with that but what those people must remember is that the message they often send out is not what they intend.  I think that’s why people are so drawn to honest and raw posts.  They are the ones that seem to go viral.  We all love the truth.  There is no question about that.

And then there’s those that display obsession in some form or another.  Obsession will often cause alienation and segregation.  Multi level marketing is an example.  I’ve seen people become so obsessed with it, they have changed their whole lives and lost all of their friends as they seem to live a ‘cult’ like existence.

I see you 1

To each their own but nobody wants to have something jammed down their throat every single day.  We can all believe whatever we like for whatever reason but there’s no need to continually try and sway the masses in a way that shows no awareness of the response this may manifest.

Another example is the continued, blatant displays of affection to a loved one.  Doing so only shows an unhealthy focus and inherent need to ‘prove’ something to oneself and others.  Those that have the healthiest relationships don’t have any requirement to bandy it about or prove anything to anyone.  They simply ‘are’.

Nobody wants to see the same thing again and again, day after day.  Especially when it is an apparent attempt to make you believe something or get you to jump on a bandwagon.   That sort of behaviour will only result in ‘hide’ing. ‘unfriend’ing or even ‘block’ing.  I’ve done all of the aforesaid for all of the above reasons and I’m sure people have done it to me.  I’ve been known to bore myself with my own posts.  Same old, same old is not want I want to see.

I want to laugh.  I want to connect.  I want to support.  I want to be inspired.  I want to be informed but not in a way that promotes single mindedness.  That is what I want from my social media.

What do you want?

Love & Light Always,

Yvette xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized2 Comments