Metanoia

Hi Lovelies,

It happened again.  Like many times before, I’ve been wondering what to write about this week but I always trust that the universe will show me and I’ll know what it is when it happens.  And it did.  Again.

One of my favourite ways to pass the time when I’m having a day off is to scroll through inspirational posts and feed my soul.  I know it’s my responsibility to keep myself happy and healthy and this little activity is good for me because it reminds me of all of the wonder and joy in life, especially at times like the past week, when our news feeds, papers and broadcasts have been so full of the fear and negativity in the world.  It’s nice to see some positivity at times like this.

Now I know that what I’ve seen happening in the world is scary, there’s no question about that, but what I am also seeing is a banding together of humans that just won’t stand for it.  A message of love and acceptance is shining through as humanity refuses to let the hate win over the love.

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There has been a flood of kind, wise and open hearted humans choosing to educate and spread the message of unity rather than letting the fear mongers succeed in the separation of us as beings.  We are all connected after all.

Another reason that I love doing the ‘happiness scroll’ is because I often come across sayings and words that I have never seen or heard of before and words are what we all use to communicate.  We use them to say how we feel and we use them to fulfil our every need and desire in life.

So what did I come across this morning?  This little beauty:

metanoia

It is an ancient greek word that basically translates to an acceptance and understanding of one’s sense of self not being the best possible version and making the choice to become that.  It is the seeking of growth in spirit and self and profound transformation.  What a beautiful word.

It resonates so much with me because like many people, my journey has been one of vast change, particularly in the last five years.  It resonates with me because I believe more than anything in this world, that we are all here to help one another get through life and that to change the world, we must first change ourselves.

So much in my life has changed for the better but it had to start from me.  As Anais Nin said “We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are”.  Aint that the truth!

I see so many people afraid of change but in reality, the only guarantee in this life is change.  It must be embraced.  A major source of stress in life is the fight against change.  Relationships fail because of it.  People get sick because of it.  Things fall apart when it is ignored and adjustments are not made to flow with it.

I have learned that embracing, instigating and choosing change is the best thing that I ever did.  I not only accept it, I love it with every inch of my being and don’t ever want it to stop.  I believe that my change can help others bring it about in themselves in a positive and soul nourishing way, so I’m not afraid of bearing my soul to do that.  Being ourselves and not proclaiming to be anything else but who we truly are is the best thing we can do, not only for ourselves but for others.

The truth will set you free.  It may be a cliché but it’s the truth.

See what I did there?   

Love & Light Always,

Yvette xxx

 

Stuff and stuff

Hi Lovelies,

If you’re anything like me you’ll find it hard not to get affected by it.  It’s pretty difficult not to.  You don’t even need to spend a lot of time with someone for it to have an affect.  A stranger acting strangely in a supermarket can set you off.  Social media posts can trigger a reaction too, if you let them.

What am I talking about?  Other people’s ‘stuff’.

It’s one thing to care about another and to sometimes think that you know better than they do when it comes to their stuff.  But do we really?  I don’t think so.

It comes back to that old saying ‘never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes’.  Quite frankly we should never judge another anyway.  A mile is but a minuscule fragment of one’s journey and lets face it, people only show  you what they want to show you.  There is SO much more that goes on behind one’s eyes and that, my friends, is the beauty of it.  Our thoughts are mostly our own.  It’s only when we choose to share them that they’re no longer our little secret.

So why then do we get caught up in allowing our thoughts to drift off into what we think another should or should not be doing?  Why do we care if they do this or they do that?  Why do we let it affect us so much that we sometimes have conversations about it with others?  Is it that old thing about wanting to be right and making them wrong?  In reality, there is no universal right or wrong.  What is right for you will undoubtedly be completely wrong for another.  For their reasons and theirs alone.

Sure, my right may make perfect sense and be black and white to me but is anything really?  No.  It’s not.  It all comes down to perspective.

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Each of us has so much other stuff’ bubbling under the surface that makes us do and say things and sometimes even we aren’t conscious of it.  So why do we expect others to be self aware 100% of the time and to make what we think are perfect choices in their lives when we aren’t even capable of that ourselves?  Nobody is.  But that’s how we learn.

And what are we supposed to do if someone keeps dumping their stuff on to us?  Are we supposed to sympathise and agree with them to make them feel better?  Is that the right thing to do?  Or are we supposed to tell them what they don’t want to hear in the nicest possible way in order to help them help themselves?  It’s a conundrum.

People need to come to their own conclusions about their own stuff.  You can’t do it for them.  If you try, you will only find yourself frustrated time and again as you watch them repeat the same behaviour and what’s the point of that?  It’s like listening to a broken record.  All we can do is watch our own stuff.   Anything else is actually none of our business.

And just because someone shares their stuff with you doesn’t give you the right to place any judgements on it. The best thing you can do is just listen and be there for them.  You can’t expect people to make the same choices that you would if you were in their shoes. You can’t possibly know what you’d do if you were.

You should ask yourself what their stuff can teach you instead.  There is a lesson in absolutely everything.  You only have to be conscious and ask yourself what it is and it will come to you.  If you listen.

It may just be patience, kindness and compassion.  We could all do with more of that at times.

Love & Light Always,

Yvette xxx

Mirror Mirror

Hi Lovelies,

Something, or should I say someone incredible happened this week.

So many people have been talking about her; loads have jumped on board and mimicked her page (but they’re all fakers because the real one is gone);   I’ve seen more blog posts about this young lady than I’ve seen about anyone in a long time; and it’s been shared more often than I could count.  This girl resonated with a LOT of people.  Including myself.

Who am I talking about?  Essena O’Neil.  The amazing 19 year old girl from Queensland who held a mirror up to us all and made us think.  I know she made me think.

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In case you don’t know what or who I’m talking about  –  and yay for you if you don’t because that means you haven’t been on social media as much as I have!  –   Essena was a huge social media star.  She made a LOT of money by posting for product endorsements and had a ridiculous amount of fans.  Her life looked perfect.  What she wore looked perfect.  She looked perfect.

But then she called ‘Bullshit’ on it all.  She told it how it is.  You’ve probably seen the blogs or news stories, so I am not going to bore you with details that you already know and if you haven’t,  you can look it up for yourself if you want to know more.

Now I don’t mean to jump on the band wagon.  That’s not what this is about.   What I want to say is:  Thank you!!!  Thank you for your honesty.  Thank you for sharing your truth and Thank you for giving others permission to share theirs as a result.

Why I am I grateful?  Because Essena made me take a really good look at myself.  I am 100% guilty of doing what she pulled herself up on, time and time again.  I am guilty of spending way too much time on social media.  I am guilty of checking if I have ‘likes’ way too often.  I am guilty of posting photos that took way too many shots to get right in the subconscious (or semi conscious) hope of receiving validation from people holding on to their instruments of communication and addiction.  I am guilty.  And this made me think some more.

It made me realise how much we love the truth.  If we didn’t, then why has Essena caused such a ripple this week?  Why does she have even more fans than she ever did, now that she is telling it like it is?

It’s plain to see that we fall for the fake and the pretend.  But why?  Is it a visual thing?   Or are we subconsciously masochistic and looking for an excuse to feel bad about ourselves by comparing ourselves to others?  If that is the case, why are we punishing ourselves?  Because we don’t love ourselves enough?  I think so.

Why also are we posting so much stuff to gain the approval of others?  Why do we care what others think?  Why does it matter how many ‘likes’ we get or don’t get ?  Aren’t we enough as we are?

As I said before, I have been guilty of it myself.  I have wanted people to tell me that I looked great.  I have wanted people to think that my life is perfect.  But you know what?  I have worked really hard at letting this go.  I have seen myself disappear into the abyss of what doesn’t matter and I have fought my way back to the surface where I can breathe.  Now, what matters to me is how I can help people.  What matters to me is how my truth can give you permission to speak and feel yours.  What matters to me is that you really love yourself  because wherever you go, there you are.  That is your truth.

Be honest.  Be brave.  Be okay with working on how you feel about yourself as a human and being proud of who that person is.  You’ve come a long way and your individuality is your power.  You don’t need approval from others.  You need approval from your self.   And that is all.

 

Love & Light Always,

Yvette xxx

Weighing it up

Our minds race with them every single day.  From the minute we wake up until the time we fall asleep, we answer them.  Questions.

It often starts with…What shall I have for breakfast?  Do I even feel like having breakfast?

For me, a lot of the time, the answer is no.  Not yet anyway.  We are conditioned to have it every day because that is what society has taught us.  Breakfast.  Lunch.  Dinner.   How often do we listen to our bodies and just eat when we are actually hungry?

What else are we meant to do?  How else are we meant to feel?

So often we don’t give ourselves the time or permission to actually stop and let our inner voice tell us the answers to the questions that come up for us.  Society and those around us often tell us what we should and shouldn’t feel or do.

Yesterday, I asked myself  ‘What am I going to wear?’  and it led to many more questions, so I made sure that I allowed time for the answers to come.

Lately I have been so focussed on writing and editing my book that I’ve found it difficult to keep up with other aspects of my life.  I’ve been pulling regular 13 and 14 hour days, every day, with work and writing combined, so the amount of exercise that I usually do has dropped quite dramatically.  My head has been elsewhere.

What do you get when you combine sitting at your desk for extended periods with a drop in physical exercise?  Weight gain.  I’m currently heavier than I have ever been in my life.  But that’s okay!!   My book is nearly finished and soon I will restore the balance.  I will be back to my usual, very active self.

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My weight has been a huge issue in my life in the past.  An unhealthy obsession with it led me to be very ill  for 16 years.  No matter how small I was, I was never happy.  In contrast, I just happen to be the happiest I have ever been right now, as well as the heaviest.  Boy how things have changed!!

So what are those questions I was talking about?

While deciding what to wear to work and realising that not everything fits me at the moment, I asked myself…

Do I go and buy new clothes?  Should I feel bad because I’ve put on weight?  Am I only uncomfortable because some of my clothes don’t fit me?  Do I really care that I am heavier?  Do I stay the way that I am and understand that I am still a very healthy weight?  Do I allow myself to be ‘me’ and understand that that person is still fabulous no matter what size and shape she is in?

I was surprised at how comfortable I actually was with the new me.   You see, I realised that the only thing new about me is my attitude towards myself.  I am being gentle with myself.  I am being my own best friend.  I am allowing myself to be me.  It has nothing to do with the number on the scale.

What I realised is that the only thing I want to change is restoring the balance in to my world and getting back in to my exercise routine.  Not because of what I weigh, but because of how it makes me feel.  Being fit and healthy is a priority in my world.

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If the scales go down again and my clothes fit me better, then I’m okay with that.  If they don’t, I’m okay with buying new ones too.  I refuse to make being ‘smaller’ and ‘lighter’ a priority anymore.

It’s all about treating my body, mind and soul with love and care.

That’s what I am talking about.

Love & Light always,

Yvette xxx

A Wink From The Universe

Hi Lovelies,

Are you paying attention?

It’s those moments that feel like  a wink from the universe that let us know all is as it should be.

Synchronicity is the concept of ‘meaningful coincidence’.

From the moment I first became aware of it, the phenomenon has featured very strongly in my life.  It is a powerful reminder that we are in fact magnets.  Walking, talking, thinking, feeling magnets.

I for one have certainly noted the many times in my life when I felt like crap.  I focussed on it; got stuck in it and drew more of it to myself.  I didn’t mean to, but I wasn’t strong enough to be aware of my consciousness and stay in a place of gratitude.  I focussed on what I didn’t have rather than what I had.  I thought about what people did to me instead of what I could do for them.  The results were to be expected.  Crap, crap and more crap.

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On the other hand, I’ve observed myself feeling super wonderful and watched magic happen.  During those times, which I’m proud to say are now way more commonplace than the above, I’ve looked after myself better in body, mind and spirit.  My thoughts have been positive and I’ve been able to nip any pesky little negative thoughts in the bud, without even so much as a trip on a crooked footpath.  It’s been smooth sailing and full of surprises.  Of the good variety.

It’s fun to watch what happens when you allow yourself to think the best and only the best.  Let all of the other stuff go.

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For example, when I was eighteen years old, I told my beautiful Mum that I was going to win a car.  She said “You can’t say that!”  and I said “You watch!”  I believed it with every inch of my being.  I didn’t attach myself to the results by entering in to every single raffle I could get my hands on, I just trusted that it would happen when it was meant to.  It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen.

In 1998, I took out my first loan to buy a car.  In doing so, I automatically went in to the draw for a silver, limited edition, convertible Holden Barina.  When my loan advisor gave me the raffle ticket, I saw the number on it was ‘123400’.  I said to her “That’s the winning ticket” …and it was.  It cemented my belief in the power of the mind.

As you may be aware, I’m writing a book.  I’ve been madly editing it for months.  Yesterday was my husband and my twelve year wedding anniversary and I just happened to arrive at the page where I wrote about the day we got engaged.  How’s that for synchronicity?!

Later in the day, I had the privilege of working with the super lovely, best selling author, Rachael Johns.  While chatting away, she offered me the direct contact details of her publisher and is sending an introduction email for me first.  I was blown away.  But then again, I was kind of expecting something like that to happen.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about my book launch.  It may be a fair way off at this point, but I’m allowed to be excited about it now.  I was working with another one of my amazing clients late last week and she very kindly offered me her stunning home as the venue for it.

My subconscious has asked, my heart has trusted and the universe is answering my wishes.

The world responds to the thoughts and feelings that we give attention to.

I have written on my bathroom mirror, ‘Wonderful things will happen for me today’, so I see it and recite it every single morning.  You should try it.  It’s kind of magic.

Until next time…

Love & Light always,

Yvette xxx

 

You’re Only Human

Hi Lovelies,

Don’t you just love Anne Hathaway?  I do!  I think she is one of the most natural and real stars in Hollywood.  She tells it like it is and is totally relatable.  That’s what makes her so loveable.  She’s awesome.

If you haven’t seen her lip sync battle of the Miley Cyrus hit  ‘Wrecking Ball’,  you HAVE to see it.  I’ve made it easy for you because here’s a snippet…..Ta da!    You’re welcome 🙂

 

I stumbled across this quote of hers the other day and it inspired me.

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It reminded me to give myself permission to NOT have to be perfect and it inspired me to write this post.

Trying to be perfect is something I think many of us, if not all, are guilty of and… well… it’ s not possible.  Why? Because it’s just not.  Perfection lies in the imperfect.  Imperfection IS perfection, but we seem to forget that most of the time.

It’s bazaar how we have one set of rules for ourselves and another set for everybody else.  We give those whom we love permission to not have it all together and remind them that it’s okay not to, but we say horrible things to ourselves when we don’t.  It’s nuts!

I know I’ve been guilty of this my whole life.  I am getting better though.  MUCH better.  But it takes effort.  Consistent effort.

Social media doesn’t help.  People only post what they want you to see and it’s not often they’ll show you when things aren’t going to plan.  That’s okay.  Personally, I don’t feel the need to share the bad stuff.  It just doesn’t need to be put out there in to your orbit.  It’s for me to deal with.  I might share it with my besties in conversation, but it doesn’t need to be made public knowledge.

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s okay to aim high and to want to be great at everything, but what I’m trying to say is,  you don’t HAVE to be.  In fact, we learn the most when we don’t get it right.

In reality, we never stop learning.

I see people telling themselves how dumb they are (or much worse) when something goes wrong, so I always say to them… there are no mistakes, because it’s ALL learning, so it’s all positive.  It really is.

In a video I watched recently, an amazing woman by the name of Kathryn Budig said  “No one can say anything worse to you than you’ve already told yourself.”   Wow.  How powerful is that?   It really hit home.

I see people making themselves sick trying to do and be it all.  You can never be all things to all people, so you need to be all things to yourself.  Be truthful.  Be honest.  Listen to what your body, mind and soul wants and needs and give yourself permission to do, be and have that.

You really DON’T have to have it all together all day, every day.  You’d tell your best friend that, so why not tell your self?

Personally, I don’t know anyone that has it all together, all of the time.

Well, maybe Beyonce…..but she’s got a whole team of people working for her, so that doesn’t count.

So, next time your ‘busting your gut’ (as my Dad says) trying to be perfect, remember that it’s ok if it’s not all falling in to place.  In all honesty, when it looks like things are falling apart, they’re actually coming together exactly as they should.  You’ll see the lesson in it, if you give yourself the time and permission to.

Until next time…

Love and Light always,

Yvette xxx