I am sure you’ll agree that one of our biggest challenges in life is actually being present or mindful as often as we can. To be honest, I don’t really know if anyone can be all of the time. Well except for perhaps the Dalai Lama.
For me it’s something that I have been good at sometimes over the years, while at others, I am absolutely crap at it. And when I say crap, I am talking about the repetition of behaviour that I KNOW will make me feel bad about myself but instead of steering away from those bad choices, I’ve found myself going ahead and mindlessly making them anyway because I don’t have the strength / willpower / discipline (whatever you want to call it) to do otherwise. The aftermath (because there’s no other way to describe it) is a really shitty state of mind, as I literally hammer myself for doing it. And then I do it again. Stupid right?!
They say that madness is repeating the same behaviour, expecting different results. Ain’t that the truth.
Lately those choices that I am referring to are all about how I fuel my body. I have tried and tested all sorts of dietary changes (delete this / add that) and I have no doubts about what works best for me. I know that’s different for all of us; what works for me won’t necessarily work for you. So if I know what makes me feel best in my body, mind and soul, why don’t I just choose the right things all of the time?
If only it were that simple.
Actually it is. It’s as easy as a decision.
Recently something happened that triggered a change for me. I was expressing how terrible I was feeling about what I’d eaten the night before when my darling hubby said “Stop being mean to my wife please!” Having been an advocate for taking responsibility for oneself and being your own best friend, I realised that I had been quite the opposite for some time. A walking contradiction so to speak. But that’s ok because I feel like I’ve finally learnt the lesson once and for all and although it is fresh, I know I’m not going to look back.
Ever since then, every single choice that I have made about what goes in to my body has been a mindful one. I choose life and health instead of death or disease. It’s as simple as that.
And although I have spent as long as I can remember trying to be smaller than I am, it’s not about that for me anymore. Sure, I understand that by making the choices that I am making, the extra weight that I was carrying will drop off – and it is – but it’s not about how I look. It’s about how I feel.
It’s about taking responsibility for my mental health and choosing to feel great instead of shitty.
I feel better when I nourish my body with the right foods.
I feel better when I really listen to what my body wants and if you are still enough to hear it, you will know what that is for you too.
The bonus is that this time, I won’t wish that I was smaller for the first time in my life because I will finally appreciate my body for what it does and how it feels rather than for what it looks like. For someone that has struggled with body image all of my life, I am already feeling the freedom this brings.
I get it. I have needed to sit with my bad decisions and the consequences that came from making them for some time. Now, I can really appreciate my new state of mind and my healthy body for what it is.
I know that I can choose ‘Happy’ or ‘Crappy’ everyday and I choose ‘Happy’.
I got my groove back and that’s a beautiful thing.
Until next time.
Love & Light Always,