The last sixty seven days of my life have been SO profound. The journey my decision to stay sober has taken me on, has been more than I could ever have imagined. It has taught me an immense amount about myself, life, the universe and everything. Proceed with caution though. You might find yourself inspired to join me if you read on.
There has been a lot of shock and surprise, especially from those closest to me. Hey – I surprised myself too! I totally get where that comes from though. I really do. Enjoying a drink was always such a big part of my life but when people keep asking me if I am still doing this, it feels like they don’t believe in my word, so I’d like to say to them, ‘Yep! I am really still doing this and it feels bloody awesome’.
I have watched many people suddenly become uncomfortable. That is not the intention of ANYONE who decides to stop drinking. The discomfort is purely about their own relationship with alcohol and or their health. If there is discomfort, perhaps there are some changes that need to be made. After all, our own peace of mind with all of our decisions in life should always be our goal in my opinion.
Friends have expressed fear of ‘losing’ who I have been to them. My darlings you have not lost me. In fact, you are gaining someone better than you ever had. I promise you that. I am so much more present now than I ever was and I love you all for who you are. Please don’t think I am judging you for the choices you make either because I’m not . My decision is for me and me only. I want to be the best possible version of myself. I want to be that for me and I want to be that for you.
I have been surprised by how many people have connected with my journey and have reached out to me personally to share of themselves. When you reveal your truth and don’t let fear get in the way, you give others permission to speak their truth also. That is a beautiful thing. To all those who have reached out and felt comfortable enough to share their own inner most thoughts with me, I thank you. I am blessed to have you in my life and if my journey can help inspire yours, that is a gift in and of itself. It is more than I could hope for.
Loved ones have taken a look at and changed their own relationship with alcohol due to the decision that I’ve made for me and I see them feeling better about themselves for doing so. How cool is that?! Our thoughts and actions truly do have a ripple effect in this world, no matter what they may be. I can only ever hope to have a positive impact on the lives of others, so when I am told I have done so, it makes my heart sing. Thank you for allowing me to help you feel like the best version of your self.
Some have even told me they envy my choice. To you I say this: If that is truly how you feel, then you owe it to yourself to try it. A decision is all it takes and the rest is easier than you think. Making the choice to put every aspect of your health first can only ever be positive. Drinking alcohol is something most of us started without even thinking about it. We did it because we came of age and it’s just what people do. I know that’s how I came to be a drinker. I never even thought of not drinking. I never knew any adults that didn’t. Now I do and my own envy, respect and curiosity led me to this place I now find myself in.
Personally, there have been a LOT of internal changes going on. My thoughts are clearer than they have ever been and my mind is a great deal sharper. I have always felt like I was an ‘on the ball’ person but now I feel that more than ever.
I am sleeping much more soundly and that can’t be underestimated. The effect it has on every other aspect of my life is incredible. It amounts to more energy; better digestion; better mood stabilisation; less reaction and more responding. I have always been told I appeared to be a very calm person but I didn’t always feel that on the inside. Now I do.
At 45, I had told my self the extra weight I was carrying around my middle section was just the ‘middle aged spread’ we all hear so much about. I call bullshit on that now! I have lost 6.3 kilos since the day I decided to stop drinking and a great deal of that has come from my stomach. I got my waist back. Nothing else has changed, in fact I eat whatever I want. It just goes to show you how many extra empty calories (and the depressed metabolism) I was getting from alcohol consumption. People have told me I look younger too.
I have an early morning ritual most days. It consist of gratitudinal thoughts, meditation and physical exercise and sets me up to have the BEST day. I can’t explain how much this makes me feel like I am being the truest and best version of myself. It leaves me feeling like the ‘me’ I always wanted to be.
I have noticed I FEEL things a lot more intensely because I am giving myself time and consciousness to feel them. But then they pass. In years gone by, I have used alcohol to deal with stress a LOT and numbed myself from feeling what needed to be felt. But that’s not healthy. Truly feeling is truly living. It’s surprising how quickly these feelings then move on. There’s no need to squash them or smother them into a sense of numbness. This is huge for me because I’ve spent most of my life using food, drugs or alcohol to escape my truth. Now I am loving my truth. Every ugly, beautiful bit of it.
Sure, I have thought many times ‘will I ever drink again’ and I can honestly say I don’t know. Forever is a very long time but I am taking this day by day and so far it feels like it is a forever thing. I have moved so far forward that deciding to have a drink feels like a huge step backwards right now and Im not one for heading in that direction any more. When you feel like you have finally found the person you have been looking for your whole life and you truly feel authentically healed from all you’ve put yourself through, there’s no going backwards.
All in all I feel totally in alignment with life. Angst and fear seem to have fallen away and my true, positive self feels free to just be. To live and let live. I can’t tell you how awesome that is.
If you are curious about any part of my journey, please don’t be afraid to hit me up. I’d really love that.
Love & Light Always,